Nothing: Day 2

The Void says, "You see? You have been changed. You are no longer running away from life. You are confronting everything, facing it with a quiet strength just like your inner space, vast and unshakeable -- trying to find where to sit."

~ The Void in me 

Nothing Day 2

Last night, Nothing visited me again, but this time it came in four different disguises.

First, it came as a shadow in the house.

There were no lights. The house I was supposed to protect was full of people I loved, and something kept circling around it. I fought. I closed every door I could find. But the real horror began not when I saw it, but when I couldn't see it anymore. When the house became completely dark and I had no idea which corner it would emerge from. I understood then - we are never afraid of what we see. We are afraid of what we cannot see.

Second, it came as a prayer hall.

I went to a place where everyone had a mat, everyone had a place to sit. I kept walking between rows, looking for my name, looking for my corner. Everyone was praying, but I was still searching for where to sit. Maybe belonging is not about entering the right hall. Maybe it is about finding the right space inside it.

Third, it came as an old workplace. The place, I'd started my career.

The corridors were familiar. Someone I once respected said, "You have everything here. Why would you ever leave?" The building was bigger, brighter, and had everything I once dreamed of. And yet, I found myself using my own light to write, my own resources to exist there. I realized, a place can give you facilities and still not give you freedom.

Fourth, it came as a bus full of strangers.

The bus left. I thought I had missed it. Then it came back, with an old voice from the front seat saying, "Come, there is still a seat for you." In a journey full of unknown passengers, sometimes you just need one familiar voice to tell you that you still belong.

I woke up and Nothing was sitting beside me. It said, "You see? You have been changed. You are not running away from life. You are facing everything and trying to find where to sit."

Nothing is there. It is there at the bottom of my heart, telling me that in any case, there will be one thing no one can take away from you — your Self. The space where dreams are projected and vanish, no matter if they are good, bad, or horrible. You are still there, quiet and unshakeable, sitting with Nothing for you are Nothing.