Are We Addicted to Our Problems?

Most of us are attached to our problems.  

Sounds strange? But think about it. We complain about them, talk about them, carry them with us — and yet we don’t let them go. Sometimes, we even create new ones.  

One big reason behind this is procrastination. And procrastination, I feel, is often the side effect of over-optimism.  

When we delay work, deep inside we feel: “I’ll manage it at the eleventh hour. I’m smart enough. I’ve done it before.”  

That’s not just confidence. That’s over-confidence. We trust our last-minute magic more than our planning.

But not every delay comes from ego.  

Sometimes we procrastinate because we are stressed. The task feels too heavy.  

Sometimes we procrastinate because we’ve lost interest. The work no longer excites us.  

So the problem isn’t just “laziness”. The problem is: we don’t pause to ask why we are delaying.

We need to analyse ourselves deeply.  

Which category do I fall into?  

Category 1: Am I delaying because I’m over-confident?  

Category 2: Am I delaying because I’m overwhelmed?  

Or 

Category 3: Am I delaying because my heart is no longer in it?  

Once we know the root, we can fix it.  

I. Over-confidence needs discipline.  

II. Stress needs rest and breakdown of tasks.  

III. Loss of interest needs honesty — maybe it’s time to change direction.  

Problems will come. But let’s not get attached to them.  

And let’s not hide behind “I’ll do it later.”  

Because later rarely comes.  

The eleventh hour only teaches us panic, not progress.

Stay Intellectually Young

17 Aug. 2020

"It is by a constant inner growth that one can find a constant newness and unfailing interest in life. There is no other satisfying way." 

~ Sri Aurobindo

I found this line on 17 Aug. 2020 while checking assignments of my Class X-C students.  

One notebook. One quotation. And it stopped me.

People may ask: Why do we need to be intellectually young?

It is because age can wrinkle the skin, but only routine can wrinkle the mind.

An intellectually young person doesn’t see the world through borrowed glasses. They see it through a new lens every morning. They are not burdened by “what will people say” or “this is how it’s always been done.”

They have the courage to speak their perspective, even if they are misunderstood.  

I did that when I introduced the term "pessiomoptimist" and questioned the very popular idea of blind optimism. People call it risky. I call it real. Because safe paths may feel comfortable, but they never lead to fresh ground.

Intellectually young people don’t choose easy.  

They choose the hardest, the toughest, but still the new. They keep growing from inside, so life keeps feeling new from outside.

That’s what Sri Aurobindo meant. Constant inner growth is equal to constant newness.  

Without it, we stop learning. We stop questioning. We stop living and just start repeating.

So today, check yourself:  

When was the last time you disagreed with a popular opinion?  

When was the last time you chose the tough path because it felt fresh?

Stay curious. Stay uncomfortable. Stay young -- not in years, but IN MIND.

Simple yet Complex and Vice Versa

"The highest form of peace is to have zero desire to be understood, admired, or even known."

I read this thought in the WhatsApp story of my friend and colleague, Mr. Jitish Batta. He is young not just physically but intellectually too.

When I read it, it simply struck me. Yes, this is the state of a person who has known the highest form of truth. It doesn't matter if one is Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian, none of them or all of them, all can achieve this highest level of consciousness. 

Rather, I would speak one step ahead, anyone, even an atheist and agnostic, can achieve this state, regardless of who or what they are. It's that much simple. However, it is not simple for complex minds, and most people are complex because they wear many masks. 

They are afraid to show their weaknesses and this confirms that they are afraid to be misunderstood. They are afraid to bleed on paper.

The truth is, we all have weaknesses, not just one or two, but many. But this does not mean we can never achieve that state of mind. We can. Anyone can. But first, they must have the courage to confront society without a mask. 

We all are destined to achieve that state of mind because that is our very nature. Sooner or later, we all will achieve this and some of us have already achieved it but when you will reach that state of mind, you will learn that you are not mind. There is no mind... no words... no thought... nothing...

A seed can only grow as much as the soil allows.

 Flashback, Aug. 16, 2015

Life is Like a Seed

"Life is like a seed which grows with the help of self and circumstances." 

~ Sudhir Singh

I wrote this 9 years ago, and one question from that day still stays with me:  

Why does society still differentiate between sons and daughters?

See, a seed doesn’t choose the soil it falls on. It just grows.  

Self is like that seed. It doesn’t differentiate. To the self, a child is just life, potential, love - whether son or daughter.  

But circumstances are the soil. And society prepares that soil.  

This is exactly what I tried to show in my story "The Youngest Daughter of 1857", published on Apr. 18, 2016.  

The farmer’s self knew the truth. His daughters were his strength. That's why he had strong believe on them. Rather, I would say he had a strong belief on his soil, his upbringing, 

Worldwide, it’s the very structure of society that decides whose dreams get water. We pass these beliefs down like tradition, not truth and through that story, "The Youngest Daughter of 1857", I just endeavoured to break that old orthodox belief. There, in that story, I tried to portray that daughters can take care of their parents better than the sons. However, I also strongly believe that the Soul also known as Self is not confined to a specific gender. 

We actually reap what we sow.

That’s why when I wrote "still happy" back then, I didn’t mean it personally. I meant it socially. Personally, I see no difference. For me, Consciousness is neither male nor females, they are simply the manifestation of the Cosmic Consciousness. 

But socially, the difference is still forced upon us and we all know that a seed can only grow as much as the soil allows.  

If we want both sons and daughters to grow equally tall, we have to change the soil.  

We have to change the circumstances.  

We have to change the structure.

What True Independence Means

Flashback, 15 Aug. 2016  

"Independent is one who has an independent attitude." 

~ Sudhir Singh

On Independence Day, we celebrate freedom from rulers but are we free within?

True independence isn’t just about a flag or a date. It’s about an attitude.  

An independent attitude is thinking from your own perspective, even when media, people, community and society are trying to manipulate you. You are independent when you can see behind the curtain of the big play. You are independent when your opinions are your own, not the borrowed one. It’s saying “no” when something doesn’t align with your values, and “yes” when it scares you but you feel it's right.

Countries become independent when people develop independent attitude. A nation of dependent minds will always look for someone to lead, fix, or rescue them.  

A nation of independent attitudes builds, questions, creates their own ideas, develop their own perspectives and stands tall.

This 15th August, let’s go beyond parades.  

Let’s check one thing: Where in my life am I still waiting for permission?  

Because independence begins the day you decide: I will think, choose, and act for myself.

When Strength Changes Shape

"As time passes, our physical strength may wane, but our experience provides a profound kind of strength that empowers us to navigate life's challenges with confidence and wisdom."  

~ Sudhir Singh

We spend our youth worshipping a certain kind of strength.  

The strength that can lift heavy weights. The strength that can dominate others. The strength that can showcase that we are the strongest. The strength that can be shown to others physically. 

The strength to run, to fight, to hustle 18 hours straight and still show up smiling.  

And then, quietly, time does something for we can't prepare ourselves.

The energy dips by 6 PM. Recovery takes longer.  Body starts decaying. Sometimes age becomes the factor, sometimes a wrong decision or a small mistake. And then, the entire scene changes!

We look in the mirror and think: “I am getting weaker.” 

A small injury changes our entire world. But then a thought came -- now I have experience. I know what to do and what not to be done. And then small actions give us one more opportunity. Opportunity to think rationally, to change our diet plan, to shift from vigorous and intense workout to simple strength training workouts and Yoga.

That's why I said, "As time passes, our physical strength may wane, but our experience provides a profound kind of strength that empowers us to navigate life's challenges with confidence and wisdom.”

Strength doesn’t disappear. It just changes shape.

1. From Muscle to Meaning

When you’re 20, strength is about doing.  

When you’re 40, 50, 60... strength is about knowing what not to do.  

Experience teaches you which battles are worth your energy.  

It teaches you that not every argument needs to win and not every opportunity is actually an opportunity.  

That’s not weakness. That’s adaptability. And adaptability is a superpower.

2. Confidence Isn’t Loud Anymore

Young confidence shouts: "Watch me!” 

Experienced confidence whispers: “I have been here before.”

So when a new crisis hits, your hands don’t shake as much.  Now you understand that we can never be victorious always. 

"Sometimes there is noise in good teachers' classes as well, but that does not erase their previous achievements or mean they have lost control. It simply means that many factors are at play, not just one. Students may feel strained due to a change in weather, they may have been taught by the same teacher for the past three lectures, or their teacher may be asking them about their notes and they are just figuring out what they have not done yet."

Because experience has already given you proof: “This too shall pass. And I will still be standing.”

That’s the profound strength I am talking about.

3. Wisdom: The Strength of Choosing Calm

Physical strength reacts.  

Experiential strength responds.  

A younger version of you might panic, overcommit, or burn bridges.  

The experienced you pauses and sees 3 moves ahead.  

You’ve collected enough stories to know that most problems are not emergencies.  

And most emergencies are not the end.  

That level of calmness, perspective is strength.

4. The Trade We All Make

Yes, we lose some things with time. Speed. Stamina. The ability to bounce back promptly. But you learn other ways which have more impact than the former. 

But we gain other things:  

Patience. Pattern recognition. The ability to read a room.  

The courage to say “no”. The grace to say “I was wrong”.  

We trade raw power for refined power.  

And refined power lasts longer.

So as time passes, remember:  

You are not becoming less. You are becoming deeper.  

And sometimes, depth is the strongest thing of all.

What about you? 

What’s one lesson experience has taught you that physical strength never could? Share it in the comment section below.

Express yourself. It is a prove that you are alive and still learning...

Don't be Flawless. Have some flaws

We spend so much time polishing ourselves. The perfect resume. The perfect reply. The perfect Facebook feed. But can we be perfect? Is it possible for us? 

I think it's not practically possible for us always.

As per my perspective, an individual can never be perfect. S/he can never be...

And it's a good sign to have some flaws because they actually connect you with others. The stutter in your speech when you’re excited. The way you burn chapattis but make a good and delicious sabzi. The project you messed up and learnt from. That’s the real you, not the corrected version. 

So, if next time, you commit a mistake, don't curse yourself. Don't condemn. Don't be too judgemental. Accept it gracefully and then, you will get a deep realisation; a realisation that flaws put you on the ground, with everyone else. They give people permission to be human too.

Nandi waits for Shiv in stillness, not because he’s perfect, but because he’s present. The cracks are where the light gets in, and where others see themselves in you.

So stop being perfect everytime . Be late sometimes. Forget things. Do mistakes. Rather feel free to do blunders too. Laugh. Change your mind. 

Don't aim to be flawless. 

Aim to be real. 

Because the world doesn’t need another perfect person. 

It needs you with all your beautiful flaws.