The Rise of Monk I -- The Quiet Path

Society thinks monk is someone who wakes at 4am, goes to temple, chants mala, wears white or orange.

S/he is not that.

And he is also not someone who makes fun of people who go to temple at 4 am. 

That second type is not monk either. That is just ego in reverse.

The monk I am speaking of never goes to temple always. He may sometimes goes just because his family wants to. He knows about Pure Consciousness. And he knows that the real temple of God is within our own mind. But if you go, he will not stop you. He will say — good, you started from A, B, C. Learn. Explore.

Why should he make fun of you? He was also there once. Lighting diya as per Agam Shsatra tradition or reading book, asking God for help or studying his own subconscious mind to know about Consciousness. We all start from A,B, C. What's the problem in it?

The difference is, now he doesn't need temple to find God or he doesn't need heavy books to read or techniques of deep meditation to be done. 

But he doesn't need to prove that temples/or books/techniques of deep meditation are useless either.

That's why society lacks this type of monk. We have two types —

1. One who pleases people to be called religious.

2. One who offends people to be called intelligent.

This monk does neither.

His core philosophy is simple: He can't please people by abandoning reason.

If something is illogical, he will not do it just because 100 people are doing it. Even if they call him arrogant. Even if his family says — just do it, what will you lose?

He will lose himself. That's what he will lose.

And he can't live without reason, but he also can't live only with reason. Because reason can make you analyst, not aware.

So what does he do?

He lives in moments. Very easy to say. Very tough to do.

When he gets angry, he knows he is not angry. Anger is there. He doesn't say "I am peaceful monk, I should not be angry." Peace and anger are just clouds. That which is permanent is the consciousness within. He says — okay, anger came, let me watch it. Let it burn.

When someone prays in front of him, he doesn't correct. He smiles because he knows — that person is not praying to stone. That person is praying to his own Self within which is beyond body and mind. 

Not enlightened. Aware. Enlightenment is a big word. Awareness is small but strong.

Enlightenment occurs when you start living in moments — not when you leave society, but when you stop leaving the moment.

This monk is not in Himalayas but behind his own breath.

He is quiet not because he has no words. He is quiet because he knows most words are just to please others.

He will write. Not to preach but to show path. Because he knows everyone has possibility.

Even the one who goes to temple daily.

Even the one who makes fun of temple.

Even you, reading this, thinking — am I that monk?

If you asked that question, you already started rising.

The Death of the Family Man and the Rise of Monk (Conclusion) -- IX

Shadow has been entered. Blood has been seen. Mantra has been heard. And the Witness has disappeared.

What is left after that is not a story.

Family Man is an identity. He is built on a single belief: "I must become something, achieve something, protect something, to be worthy of love, to be worthy of my family."

He lives by comparison, by fear, by performance. His death is not physical. His death is the death of that belief.

He does not die because family leaves. He dies because he sees -- love was never asking for performance. Love was asking for presence.

For years, Family Man wears armor to hide the softness that was once shamed. He thinks hardness is protection. When armor breaks in the dark chamber, he feels he has failed. But that failure is grace. Only when armor breaks, heart is seen.

The Rise of the Monk is not the rise of a new identity. Monk is not a man who leaves home for forest.

Monk is awareness itself — the one who was watching even when fear was at its peak. Monk does not fight death. He chants to death. He does not kill to protect. He blesses to protect.

Anima, Animus, Shadow — all lead here.

1. Anima leads man from projection to Goddess to wisdom.

2. Animus leads woman from power to presence.

3. Shadow leads both from hiding to wholeness.

At the end, Shaiv and Vaishnav tilak appear on same Shivling. Destruction and preservation become one. Masculine and feminine become one. Fear and love become one.

There is no Sakshi left. No witness. No watcher. Play ends.

What remains cannot be described in words. It is not knowledge. It is not experience. It is awareness — indescribable, self-shining.

Family Man is dead. Monk, the symbol of awareness has risen. Only awareness remains — doing daily work, speaking softly, sitting quietly.

And that is enough.

That is conclusion.

The End

Experiencing the Shadow and The Journey Beyond: VIII

Shadow is something about which you, I or anyone of us can never write completely. It is the darkest chamber of our mind where we have stored all our bitter experiences and suppressed emotions and fear -- emotions that you are soft, emotions that you should not play with doll as you are a boy, emotions of helplessness, fear of being unable to complete the paper on time, fear of being badly beaten, fear of being sad inside due to losing our parents.

I can see myself entering that dark chamber and then I saw -- my father went outside for a long period of time. Its too late, he hasn't come yet. Mother went outside looking for father, and I found myself sitting in meditation. Then my sister started vomiting, her stomach is weak. Father always told me to take care of her. But I didn't.  And...and she's near to death. For just a span of few seconds, I lose all of them -- mother, father, sister. I wake up from meditation, my body is numb, coughing and then I saw some men entering at my home without permission. They all are strong, tall and muscular. They had sharp weapons on their hands -- just ready to kill, gate opened and Parth, my son went outside. "Outside! No, don't go. Stop!" I followed.  

And now came the darkest thing -- the anger that I have controlled through daily practice burst out. I went outside using everything as weapon and to save my son I killed them all. Then suddenly a thought came where is Astha, my wife? "She is all alone at home!" I ran and when entered "there is blood everywhere". I failed to protect my family. I failed. Nothing left. Then a voice I heard inside. "It's not true. It's not true." A pure light entered in the darkest chamber commanding me to follow. And I followed it. 

Then I saw a big house, a Mansion and a voice of holy mantra Om could be clearly heard. I moved and entered. It's full of light and the Mahamrityunjaya Mantra could be listened to clearly. A huge Shivling. But it's different. It has tilak of both Shaiv and Vaishnavs. Then, it, too disappeared. Nothing left. Not even Sakshi: the Witness. The play ended and there is just an awareness. 

I can't describe that awareness in words. That can never be described in words.

Beyond the Mask: VII -- My Fear to Write About Shadow

The woman inside my mind becomes Sophia as per Jung's psychological term. It is the fourth stage where the woman inside a man becomes the Guru. She is the wisdom, the guide now. The devotion for the goddess -- The Saviour/Mary (that I wrote back in 2014) now turned into the light of  Guru. This light is so soothing and full of comfort that I dare not to move ahead and write about Shadow -- the darkest corner of my mind. 

In past few days, I am writing about the series of Pseudo Self and the latest one I wrote was Part VI -- Anima: The Last Mask. 

This woman inside me gives me strength and guidance whenever I find myself in trouble and now when I am moving towards part VII -- the Shadow, my hands are shaking. I am feeling afraid as if something is there inside me for which I am myself not prepared. Yes, I know my true self: the Cosmic Consciousness and I have experienced it too number of times but I haven't experienced what is deep inside my mind's shadow. 

Why so? 

Why is it happening? 

Don't know. 

My logics and rationality aren't working here. It's tough. Indeed it's tough. Perhaps my mind is not prepared to leave goddess inside me. Perhaps...

Pseudo Self VI — The Last Mask: Anima and Animus

In the last part we understood Persona — the mask we wear for the world.

Today, we will understand Anima and Animus — the mask we wear for love.

What is Anima?

Anima is the inner woman inside a man.

Every man has two sides. Outside, he is masculine — strong, logical. Inside, he also has a feminine side — soft, emotional, intuitive. He hides it because society says "don't be soft."

Those hidden qualities don't die. They join together and become a personality inside. Jung called it Anima.

Because you don't know it is inside you, you search for it outside — in women.

What is Animus?

Same for a woman. Animus is the inner man inside a woman.

Every woman also has an inner masculine side — rational, assertive, strong, decisive. If she hides it to look more feminine, it becomes Animus.

Then she searches for it outside — in men.

How it is formed?

Simple.

Boy is told: Don't cry. Don't be soft.

So his softness goes inside and becomes Anima.

Girl is told: Don't be loud. Don't be too logical.

So her strength goes inside and becomes Animus.

What you are not allowed to be, becomes your ghost.

What it does?

Anima and Animus become your lens.

You never see a real man or woman. You see your own inner image projected on them.

That is why "love at first sight" happens. You didn't meet her. You met your Anima in her face. You didn't meet him. You met your Animus in his face.

To understand it deeper, we should understand the 4 Stages:

For a man's Anima:

1. Eve - The Mother: You want a girl to take care of you.

2. Helen - The Lover: You want a girl only for beauty and sex.

3. Mary - The Saviour: You want a girl to forgive you and make you pure.

4. Sophia - The Wise Woman: You want a girl to sit with you in wisdom. You finally see a real woman.

For a woman's Animus:

1. Tarzan - The Body: You want a man only for physical strength.

2. Achiever - The Doer: You want a man for success and power.

3. Professor - The Word: You want a man for knowledge and ideas.

4. Wise Man - The Guide: You want a man for wisdom. You finally see a real man.

Most people get stuck in Stage 1 and 2. They think they loved 10 people. They loved the same inner image 10 times.

After reading this, you may have been pondering: Why is it the Last Mask?

Persona is for the world — money, status, knowledge.

This last mask says, "You are still half. Find HER/HIM and you will be whole." And this mask you like to wear for yourself. It is a beautiful lie.

So, will this lie be ended?

The mask ends when you understand the trick. You were never half, never incomplete.

The pain inside you that says "I need someone" — that pain is Anima/Animus. It is not proof that someone is missing outside. It is proof that a part of YOU is missing inside.

When a man accepts his own softness, he stops searching for it in women. That's why I always emphasise to accept your emotions. Be emotional. They will not make you weak. They will make you whole/complete.

And when a woman accepts her own strength, she stops searching for it in men. Then you stop projecting. You start relating.

You stop asking, "Does s/he complete me?"

When you meet the woman inside you, you stop chasing ghosts outside. When you meet the man inside you, you stop waiting to be saved outside.

But this isn't the end. There is something dark which you don't want to confront and that dark dwells inside you. Tomorrow, we will talk about it. 

Pseudo Self V — Understanding the Persona

In the last post, we talked about Persona, Anima/Animus, Shadow and the Original Self — the Whole.

Today we will talk about Persona only.

What we call personality is actually our mask. Carl Jung introduced this term first. Every person wears a mask. But wearing a mask does not mean being bad or good. The mask can be good, bad, or both. People wear it as per the need. Sometimes a strong man wears a mask of weakness, and sometimes a weak man wears a mask of strength.

Pseudo Self is actually this mask. It does not have its own existence. It is just layered. When you remove it layer by layer, there is nothing that exists — except the Anima itself. Anima is more rooted to existence, but let’s not talk about it today. Today we will talk about Persona only. And believe me, once you understand it properly, you will know who you actually are and who is not you.

But do we wear masks deliberately?

No. We wear it unknowingly.

Then, does it mean we are living our lives like zombies? Yes. Most of us are living like this because we kill the Anima inside us just for social validation — the desire to look strong, successful and prosperous.

But what is left ultimately?

Nothing. We kill the very source which can lead us towards our roots, towards Cosmic Consciousness. And then there is nothing left except the body, except the mask.

So, what to do?

Be emotional. Be rooted.

But being emotional does not mean being sentimental. Being emotional means being full of life, being full in the present. Then life becomes a song, a play, a poem.

Then you are aware of everything, but it is you who chooses when to respond and when not to respond.

When you understand Persona, you stop defending the mask. You wear it when needed, and you put it down when not needed.

The Pseudo Self IV -- Persona, Shadow and Anima

"People fix their own flaws in front of a mirror."

In the last post, we talked about the small self. How it projects its own fear onto others to feel safe and how to be courageous to live a life without mask. Yes, it's difficult. But it's not impossible. All you need to do is to accept your flaws. There should be no need to defend for the very urge will strengthen the mask and makes you more desperate than before.

But, now there is a question -- how to acquire that state?

The answer is by understanding Persona (the mask), Anima (Our Female Self) and Shadow (Our Dark Side). Carl Jung gave us these three words, but we have been living them every day.

1. Persona --- The Mask

Persona is the mask we wear to be accepted by society.

And pseudo Self lives inside Persona. It says — "If I wear the right mask, people will love me."

But no one can live with a mask forever. The mask becomes heavy. And the heavier the mask, the more tired the soul.

Ask yourself — who are you when no one is watching? If you don't know the answer, you have been living in Persona for too long.

2. Shadow — The Dark side/The Part You Hide

Everything that you don't want to accept about yourself — your anger, your jealousy, your insecurity, your greed — you push it into the dark. That dark room is Shadow. All types of emotions that you hate from your core come from your own SHADOW.

Pseudo Self is very scared of Shadow. So it does one clever thing. It throws its Shadow onto others.

It says others -- You are insecure. You are incompetent. You are weak.

No. Actually, it's the small self who is insecure, incompetent and weak. But it cannot accept it, so it projects the same on others.

This is why we said — people fix their own flaws in front of a mirror. When a person comes in front of them, s/he sees their own Shadow reflected, and they try to fix it by attacking the mirror.

But you cannot fix the reflection by breaking the mirror. You have to fix the face.

3. Anima — The Female Self/The Inner Voice

Jung said every man has a feminine side inside him, and every woman has a masculine side inside her. That inner side is Anima and Animus. It is your capacity to feel, to love, to be soft, to be intuitive.

Pseudo Self kills Anima.

It says — Don't be soft. Don't cry. Don't feel. Be logical. Be strong. Be practical.

And slowly we become stones. Successful stones, but stones.

A whole person allows his Anima to breathe. He can be strong and also soft. He can be logical and also intuitive. He does not feel ashamed of his softness. He wears it like armor.

So what is the journey?

The journey is not to become perfect. The journey is to become whole.

Take off the Persona. Look at your Shadow. Listen to your Anima.

Don't pretend to be good. Be real.

Don't pretend to be successful. Be honest.

Accept your mistakes. There is no shame to accept it. Make them stepping stones. 

Don't fix the mirror. Fix yourself.

Let's not stop our journey.