The Sweet I Refused

Second period. Paper discussion was on in class XI Sci. A.

The class was noisy — marks being counted, doubts being asked, "Sir, how to improve?" from every bench. I was completely engrossed.

In the middle of this, a child came to my door with a small box of sweets. "Sir, my birthday."

I wished her, "Happy Birthday," but I refused the sweet. "Not now."

She insisted again. I said, "No beta, I don't take sweets." She insisted again and a same response came from my side.

She left.

The period went on. The papers got discussed. The doubts got cleared.

But when I reached home after school, her face came in front of my eyes.

It was her birthday.

For her, it was not about a sweet. It was about being seen. Being blessed. A small moment of happiness she wanted to share with her teacher.

And in that tense environment, I missed it. I was so focused on taking students' doubts that I forgot to wish her properly. 

Then I thought about Parth, my son.

How excited my son is on his birthday. How much he expects from me. A wish, a chocolate, a cake, a little celebration. For a child, a birthday is not a date. It is an emotion.

The same was that girl.

Did I hurt her? Maybe not intentionally. But I missed a chance to connect.

And that is what teaching is. Not just paper discussion. Kids don't only need marks. They need love and connection.

I was not wrong in maintaining discipline in the class. A teacher has to. During a discussion, noise can break. So saying "not now or no" was professional.

But saying "I don't take sweets" was not needed. I could have said, "Beta, keep it here, I will take it after the class. And come, let me wish you properly."

One line would have kept both — the discipline and the dignity of the child.

This is what I have learnt today that connection is also part of correction. I wish I get a chance to reform myself.

If you are a teacher reading this — next time a child comes with a birthday sweet during your busiest period, don't refuse the child. Reschedule the sweet.

Let the paper discussion wait for two minutes. Let the child feel celebrated for a lifetime.

The Pseudo Self I -- The Afraid Man Cannot Create

Our made Self is so tiny so small that it is afraid of everything.

Afraid of people. Afraid to be alone. And afraid of missing out on the latest information.

Look around. This is not philosophy. This is our newsfeed.

We scroll not to learn, but because we are afraid of losing information. We speak not to express, but because we are afraid of being judged. We stay in groups not because we love people, but because we are afraid to be alone.

A person who is afraid can never be creative. Creativity needs risk. It needs solitude. It needs the courage to be misunderstood. Fear cannot give you any of that.

A frightened man has only two options — he becomes defensive or destructive.

Defensive towards life. Destructive towards himself and others.

Watch him. He will not preserve anything. Not a relationship, not an idea, not even his own health. Because preservation needs care, and care needs courage. No, I don't want you to be fearless. You can never be fearless. Humans can never be fearless.

His eyes are conditioned to see only the negative. Not because the world is negative, but because his pseudo Self can only survive by finding a threat everywhere.

And the world is now full of such people.

Frightened inside, dominant outside.

They shout on social media, they dominate in meetings, they control in relationships. Not because they are powerful. Because they are scared. And we should be afraid of such people — not because they are strong, but because a frightened man always try to prove that he is dominant and can do anything.

This is the present youth too.

They cannot see anything except their conditioning. They think they are thinking, but they are only replaying fear.

Fear of career — so they never ask what they love.

Fear of loneliness — so they never learn to be with themselves.

Fear of being wrong — so they never create anything original.

They call it being practical. It is just being frightened.

The question is not how to become successful while being afraid.

The question is — can you see yourself in the mirror of your own mind? 

In the next post, we will talk about how this Pseudo Self is made. Who makes it, and why we protect it so much?

Until then, one task:

Sit alone for 10 minutes without your phone. No music, no information. Just sit. And watch how quickly the small Self gets afraid.

If you can see the fear, you are already bigger than it.

The Gallery of Noise XII - Gratitude (The Last Part)

In the Gita, Lord Krishna says -

"Sarva-dharman parityajya mam ekam sharanam vraja.

Aham tvam sarva-papebhyo mokshayishyami ma suchah."

"Surrender thyself to Me and leave all of your doubts, doctrines and responsibilities unto My feet. I shall restore thee and give you salvation."

In this series of 12 parts under the title "The Gallery of Noise", we have learnt a lot about ourselves --- our very origin i.e. The Cosmic Consciousness.  

We saw how mind creates noise, how body creates noise, how world creates noise. We learnt to be Sakshi - the Witness.

But we cannot remain in that state by our own effort.

Witnessing is not the end. Witnessing is the door.

Without the blessings of HariHar, no one can stay there. Without two forces meeting, the journey is incomplete.

Hari - The Cosmic Order - The Force that runs the world and always takes incarnation to restore the Order of Cosmos. 

Har - The Pure Witness - The Cosmic Consciousness that watches the world.

Force and Witness. Prakriti and Purusha. They must meet.

Till now, we were trying to be the witness. That was Sadhana. But in the end, the small witness must also surrender. The drop must be ready to merge into the ocean.

And that merging does not happen by effort. It happens by Grace. By Surrender.

Krishna calls it Sharanagati.

You leave everything - your doubts, your doctrines. Leave them all at His feet.

Then what remains?

No drop left.

Once the Sakshi merges into Parabrahman, there is no Sakshi left. The small self dies. It vanishes. Not by killing, but by merging.

Then what happens to this body and this mind?

They don't die. They become tools. Tools of Cosmic Order.

Then you don't speak. Then you don't act. The Cosmic Order acts through you.

Then nothing is left. Only The Pure Witness.

No gallery. No noise. No one to see the gallery.

Only Silence watching Silence.

This series ends here, but gratitude remains.

Gratitude to HariHar who let us see the noise.

Gratitude to the noise itself, which taught us what silence is.

Gratitude to this body which bore everything.

---- End of The Gallery of Noise Series

The Gallery of Noise XI: Be Simple

In the previous part, the water evaporated.

When it evaporates, you know yourself as you are. You become Sakshi — the Silent Watcher. No more play, only pure witnessing. The noise fades and looks like a grand play.

But what happens after evaporation?

This is where simplicity begins.

Having Self-Realisation doesn't mean you won't become sad or happy. Rather, after realising your true self i.e. the Pure Consciousness, aka Absolute Stillness, you will become intensely sad and happy but still disinterested inside.

As it is said:

"आत्मज्ञानी का रोना भी सहज होता है और हँसना भी। वह न तो दुःख से भागता है और न सुख को पकड़ता है।"

A self-realized's crying is natural, and so is his laughter. S/he neither runs from sorrow, nor clings to joy.

That is simplicity.

Before realisation, we cry to show, we laugh to hide. We are fake because noise wants us to be complex. After evaporation, you can never be fake again. Now no mask required.

You confront all kinds of experiences — because you are not running.

And then, something subtle happens. You become more connected with existence and its subtle music. You start enjoying insects' and birds' songs, beautiful natural sights, sunrise and sunset. Not because you became spiritual, but because you became simple.

You evaporated. Now you don't need coldness to look strong. You become who you actually are. You acquire Sahajata — naturalness.

No more excitement to become something. Only oneness with the origin.

Be simple. That is the final freedom.

The Gallery of Noise X — When the Water Evaporates

When water flows, it plays. It becomes river, shower, storm.

When it evaporates, the play stops.

You suddenly see yourself as you are. Not the flow, not the noise, but the watcher behind it. In our tradition, we call it Sakshi — the Silent Watcher.

The noise does not fight you anymore. It simply fades. What looked so urgent yesterday, now looks like a grand play. A beautiful drama that you were part of, but not bound by.

Here you get a choice. And this choice decides everything.

If you wish to feel again, you will return as the shower. You will fall again, touch again, feel again. 

If you don't wish to, you become indifferent. Not driven by emotions — just uninterested. No more excitements. No more need to become.

You merge with the origin. Or rather, you realize you are the origin itself.

Does this give you divinity? Maybe. Maybe not.

Divinity is not a prize for watching. It is what happens after — whether you choose to come back and love the noise, or choose to stay quiet and be one with silence.

Both are freedom.

The Gallery of Noise IX: Let the Water Flow

Walk like, perform like water.

Water does not ask permission to move. It finds the crack, the slope, the silence, and it goes.

We have spent too much time performing like stone — hard, fixed, waiting to be noticed. A Statue wants a pedestal. Water wants only movement. Only movement; nothing else.

To perform like water is to stop fighting, to stop proving, to stop looking for validation. 

Water has no shape of its own. It takes the shape of what holds it. But it doesn't mean losing yourself. No, you do not lose yourself; you become useful -- useful for yourself, useful for your existence and useful to others too.

Walk like water. No heavy footsteps. No announcement that "You have arrived." Just a quiet presence.

Noise does not disturb water. It carries it. It keeps flowing no matter if the gallery is loud. Let them be loud. Let them do what they want to do. Let them say what they wish to say. You keep flowing effortlessly. Go back to your origin and then come again. Keep doing it.

The Gallery of Noise VIII: You are Water

Do we need to be strong physically? Yes, we should be. Physical strength is important. But there is something more important — the strength of mind.

Mind should be strong. It should be. But what does strength of mind mean?

Is it fearlessness? No, it is not. Humans can never be fearless. Fear will be there. Always.

Then what is strength of mind?

To be unaffected, just like water.

Water is delicate, yet it has insurmountable strength. For a moment, it may seem affected — affected by dirt, affected by waste. But it regains its state once it becomes still. All it needs is to be still, to be motionless. That's it.

And that is the key: the only key.

We think strength is about toughness. About becoming hard, rigid, unbreakable. But toughness breaks. What does not break is softness. What does not break is flexibility.

A hard mind carries every noise. It argues with every gallery. It wants to win every comment. And in trying to be tough, it becomes heavy.

A soft mind, like water, lets the noise pass. It gets disturbed for a moment — yes — but then it becomes still. And in its stillness, it wipes out the dirt by itself.

So strength does not lie in toughness, it lies in its softness. In its flexibility. In its ability to become still again.

Be like water. Let the gallery throw its dirt. Just be still.