The Rise of Monk I -- The Quiet Path

Society thinks monk is someone who wakes at 4am, goes to temple, chants mala, wears white or orange.

S/he is not that.

And he is also not someone who makes fun of people who go to temple at 4 am. 

That second type is not monk either. That is just ego in reverse.

The monk I am speaking of never goes to temple always. He may sometimes goes just because his family wants to. He knows about Pure Consciousness. And he knows that the real temple of God is within our own mind. But if you go, he will not stop you. He will say — good, you started from A, B, C. Learn. Explore.

Why should he make fun of you? He was also there once. Lighting diya as per Agam Shsatra tradition or reading book, asking God for help or studying his own subconscious mind to know about Consciousness. We all start from A,B, C. What's the problem in it?

The difference is, now he doesn't need temple to find God or he doesn't need heavy books to read or techniques of deep meditation to be done. 

But he doesn't need to prove that temples/or books/techniques of deep meditation are useless either.

That's why society lacks this type of monk. We have two types —

1. One who pleases people to be called religious.

2. One who offends people to be called intelligent.

This monk does neither.

His core philosophy is simple: He can't please people by abandoning reason.

If something is illogical, he will not do it just because 100 people are doing it. Even if they call him arrogant. Even if his family says — just do it, what will you lose?

He will lose himself. That's what he will lose.

And he can't live without reason, but he also can't live only with reason. Because reason can make you analyst, not aware.

So what does he do?

He lives in moments. Very easy to say. Very tough to do.

When he gets angry, he knows he is not angry. Anger is there. He doesn't say "I am peaceful monk, I should not be angry." Peace and anger are just clouds. That which is permanent is the consciousness within. He says — okay, anger came, let me watch it. Let it burn.

When someone prays in front of him, he doesn't correct. He smiles because he knows — that person is not praying to stone. That person is praying to his own Self within which is beyond body and mind. 

Not enlightened. Aware. Enlightenment is a big word. Awareness is small but strong.

Enlightenment occurs when you start living in moments — not when you leave society, but when you stop leaving the moment.

This monk is not in Himalayas but behind his own breath.

He is quiet not because he has no words. He is quiet because he knows most words are just to please others.

He will write. Not to preach but to show path. Because he knows everyone has possibility.

Even the one who goes to temple daily.

Even the one who makes fun of temple.

Even you, reading this, thinking — am I that monk?

If you asked that question, you already started rising.

The Death of the Family Man and the Rise of Monk (Conclusion) -- IX

Shadow has been entered. Blood has been seen. Mantra has been heard. And the Witness has disappeared.

What is left after that is not a story.

Family Man is an identity. He is built on a single belief: "I must become something, achieve something, protect something, to be worthy of love, to be worthy of my family."

He lives by comparison, by fear, by performance. His death is not physical. His death is the death of that belief.

He does not die because family leaves. He dies because he sees -- love was never asking for performance. Love was asking for presence.

For years, Family Man wears armor to hide the softness that was once shamed. He thinks hardness is protection. When armor breaks in the dark chamber, he feels he has failed. But that failure is grace. Only when armor breaks, heart is seen.

The Rise of the Monk is not the rise of a new identity. Monk is not a man who leaves home for forest.

Monk is awareness itself — the one who was watching even when fear was at its peak. Monk does not fight death. He chants to death. He does not kill to protect. He blesses to protect.

Anima, Animus, Shadow — all lead here.

1. Anima leads man from projection to Goddess to wisdom.

2. Animus leads woman from power to presence.

3. Shadow leads both from hiding to wholeness.

At the end, Shaiv and Vaishnav tilak appear on same Shivling. Destruction and preservation become one. Masculine and feminine become one. Fear and love become one.

There is no Sakshi left. No witness. No watcher. Play ends.

What remains cannot be described in words. It is not knowledge. It is not experience. It is awareness — indescribable, self-shining.

Family Man is dead. Monk, the symbol of awareness has risen. Only awareness remains — doing daily work, speaking softly, sitting quietly.

And that is enough.

That is conclusion.

The End

Experiencing the Shadow and The Journey Beyond: VIII

Shadow is something about which you, I or anyone of us can never write completely. It is the darkest chamber of our mind where we have stored all our bitter experiences and suppressed emotions and fear -- emotions that you are soft, emotions that you should not play with doll as you are a boy, emotions of helplessness, fear of being unable to complete the paper on time, fear of being badly beaten, fear of being sad inside due to losing our parents.

I can see myself entering that dark chamber and then I saw -- my father went outside for a long period of time. Its too late, he hasn't come yet. Mother went outside looking for father, and I found myself sitting in meditation. Then my sister started vomiting, her stomach is weak. Father always told me to take care of her. But I didn't.  And...and she's near to death. For just a span of few seconds, I lose all of them -- mother, father, sister. I wake up from meditation, my body is numb, coughing and then I saw some men entering at my home without permission. They all are strong, tall and muscular. They had sharp weapons on their hands -- just ready to kill, gate opened and Parth, my son went outside. "Outside! No, don't go. Stop!" I followed.  

And now came the darkest thing -- the anger that I have controlled through daily practice burst out. I went outside using everything as weapon and to save my son I killed them all. Then suddenly a thought came where is Astha, my wife? "She is all alone at home!" I ran and when entered "there is blood everywhere". I failed to protect my family. I failed. Nothing left. Then a voice I heard inside. "It's not true. It's not true." A pure light entered in the darkest chamber commanding me to follow. And I followed it. 

Then I saw a big house, a Mansion and a voice of holy mantra Om could be clearly heard. I moved and entered. It's full of light and the Mahamrityunjaya Mantra could be listened to clearly. A huge Shivling. But it's different. It has tilak of both Shaiv and Vaishnavs. Then, it, too disappeared. Nothing left. Not even Sakshi: the Witness. The play ended and there is just an awareness. 

I can't describe that awareness in words. That can never be described in words.

Beyond the Mask: VII -- My Fear to Write About Shadow

The woman inside my mind becomes Sophia as per Jung's psychological term. It is the fourth stage where the woman inside a man becomes the Guru. She is the wisdom, the guide now. The devotion for the goddess -- The Saviour/Mary (that I wrote back in 2014) now turned into the light of  Guru. This light is so soothing and full of comfort that I dare not to move ahead and write about Shadow -- the darkest corner of my mind. 

In past few days, I am writing about the series of Pseudo Self and the latest one I wrote was Part VI -- Anima: The Last Mask. 

This woman inside me gives me strength and guidance whenever I find myself in trouble and now when I am moving towards part VII -- the Shadow, my hands are shaking. I am feeling afraid as if something is there inside me for which I am myself not prepared. Yes, I know my true self: the Cosmic Consciousness and I have experienced it too number of times but I haven't experienced what is deep inside my mind's shadow. 

Why so? 

Why is it happening? 

Don't know. 

My logics and rationality aren't working here. It's tough. Indeed it's tough. Perhaps my mind is not prepared to leave goddess inside me. Perhaps...