Pseudo Self VI — The Last Mask: Anima and Animus

In the last part we understood Persona — the mask we wear for the world.

Today, we will understand Anima and Animus — the mask we wear for love.

What is Anima?

Anima is the inner woman inside a man.

Every man has two sides. Outside, he is masculine — strong, logical. Inside, he also has a feminine side — soft, emotional, intuitive. He hides it because society says "don't be soft."

Those hidden qualities don't die. They join together and become a personality inside. Jung called it Anima.

Because you don't know it is inside you, you search for it outside — in women.

What is Animus?

Same for a woman. Animus is the inner man inside a woman.

Every woman also has an inner masculine side — rational, assertive, strong, decisive. If she hides it to look more feminine, it becomes Animus.

Then she searches for it outside — in men.

How it is formed?

Simple.

Boy is told: Don't cry. Don't be soft.

So his softness goes inside and becomes Anima.

Girl is told: Don't be loud. Don't be too logical.

So her strength goes inside and becomes Animus.

What you are not allowed to be, becomes your ghost.

What it does?

Anima and Animus become your lens.

You never see a real man or woman. You see your own inner image projected on them.

That is why "love at first sight" happens. You didn't meet her. You met your Anima in her face. You didn't meet him. You met your Animus in his face.

To understand it deeper, we should understand the 4 Stages:

For a man's Anima:

1. Eve - The Mother: You want a girl to take care of you.

2. Helen - The Lover: You want a girl only for beauty and sex.

3. Mary - The Saviour: You want a girl to forgive you and make you pure.

4. Sophia - The Wise Woman: You want a girl to sit with you in wisdom. You finally see a real woman.

For a woman's Animus:

1. Tarzan - The Body: You want a man only for physical strength.

2. Achiever - The Doer: You want a man for success and power.

3. Professor - The Word: You want a man for knowledge and ideas.

4. Wise Man - The Guide: You want a man for wisdom. You finally see a real man.

Most people get stuck in Stage 1 and 2. They think they loved 10 people. They loved the same inner image 10 times.

After reading this, you may have been pondering: Why is it the Last Mask?

Persona is for the world — money, status, knowledge.

This last mask says, "You are still half. Find HER/HIM and you will be whole." And this mask you like to wear for yourself. It is a beautiful lie.

So, will this lie be ended?

The mask ends when you understand the trick. You were never half, never incomplete.

The pain inside you that says "I need someone" — that pain is Anima/Animus. It is not proof that someone is missing outside. It is proof that a part of YOU is missing inside.

When a man accepts his own softness, he stops searching for it in women. That's why I always emphasise to accept your emotions. Be emotional. They will not make you weak. They will make you whole/complete.

And when a woman accepts her own strength, she stops searching for it in men. Then you stop projecting. You start relating.

You stop asking, "Does s/he complete me?"

When you meet the woman inside you, you stop chasing ghosts outside. When you meet the man inside you, you stop waiting to be saved outside.

But this isn't the end. There is something dark which you don't want to confront and that dark dwells inside you. Tomorrow, we will talk about it.